What is Exfiles.com?

Exfiles.com is a brand spanking new website that moonlights as your worst nightmare. We joke, we joke! Kinda. Here in Exfiles land, we want you to cleanse your soul of the baggage that is your ex. So if your slutty whore of an ex-girlfriend had sex with three of your friends the day after you broke up, we want to hear about it. If your ex-boyfriend took you on Maury just to tell you he was married with three kids, we want to hear about it. And if your unemployed ex-husband stole your credit cards to fund a vacation with his mistress, aka: the babysitter, WE WANT TO…well, you get the point.

How Does This Silly Site Work?

If you’re angry and you’re not going to take it anymore, simply click on the large green box that says “Add Ex.” This is where you will have a chance to play your ex like a game of Limited Edition Monopoly. You can either post a quick story or if you’re feeling particularly spiteful, you can create an entire profile (ex -file) dedicated to that special someone.

I loathe my ex. Tell me more about this profile.

Surely. If you are dedicated to embarrassing them with the gusto of a fat kid eating cake, you can create a personal ex-file for your former beloved.  After filling out detailed info, you can then file them under a specific category (ex: slut, thief, cheater, douchebag,etc) and warn others by tagging the perps area code. Why do we allow this? Because sometimes, one man’s garbage is another man’s garbage, too.

Which stories make it to the home page?

The funny, smart, well written ones. We’re sorry but your stories are a direct reflection of us. So if you RiTe uR eNtRiEs LiKe DiS, you’re making us look bad. And if we liked to look bad, we’d have sex with the lights on. Got it? But seriously, if you write like that, it is likely you won’t make it to the homepage. Or anywhere else on the site. Yeah, seriously.

Do you edit posts?

Yes. If we find your story is captivating enough but you spell like a 7th grader who was left back twice, then we’ll edit your post. However, we won’t change any details.

You are really mean and offensive. Do you ever feel bad?

No.

Is that you Satan?

No. Just  a couple of cynical folks with too much relationship experience. But more specifically….

Dave: He is a creator and director of Exfiles.com. And that’s pretty much all he wants you to know about him.

Diana: Diana is some chick Dave used to work with. She is responsible for all of the content on the site.  In fact, she wrote this entire post. In addition to writing in third person,  Diana is the resident EXpert. Send her your relationship problems and she’ll solve them in 400 characters or less. Yup. She’s that good.

Who should I address my hate mail too?

Dave and Diana. And then let everyone know just how much you hate us. We dare you.